Day Four- Something you have to forgive someone for.

He was my first boy friend, my best friend, my mentor, my teacher, my leader.  He gave me life but abandoned me later.  He mistreated my mom, traumatized my sister and I, he lied to us.  He literally sabotaged my childhood, my teenage period was terrible because of him and I am still recovering from what he did to us now that I am in the beginning of my adulthood.  What he did to me changed my way to see myself, to see the world, to see men in general. 

 I am a traumatized woman because of what he did.  I am afraid to have anything in common with him, I also fear to look like his victim but I can’t help it and I am still suffering because of that. Sometimes, I even hate myself for still loving him.

It happened fourteen years ago but tears still come to my eyes when thinking about it.  I know I have to forgive him: Jehovah will be happy if I do and I will feel better if I also do but it is so hard to do, so hard to forgive someone who has messed up your whole life.

Today, I do not consider him anything more than my BIOLOGICAL father……. Life goes on, time passes by. I didn’t forget what he did but I almost forgive him….


2 thoughts on “30 DAYS OF TRUTH- DAY FOUR

  1. Maudeline says:

    I’m so sorry hun,

  2. […] 4 (siggiofmaine.wordpress.com) Day 4 (myrawsecrets.wordpress.com) Day 4 (wheniride.wordpress.com) Day 4 (lostemerald.wordpress.com) Day 4 […]

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