Dark soul, dark night…


Words cannot come out the coherent way. Just the urgent need to lessen my pain through words.

I feel so bad and so lost. Oh Geez! At night, when I remove the Happy Face mask and I allow myself to be the actual me, the heavy load on my shoulders weighs me down, the tears flow like water in the river and the wound starts bleeding and hurting again.

I crave relief and inner peace.I cannot stand the pain anymore. My sorrow is reaching his climax. I cannot live with it anymore. I can’t survive this any longer. This is unbearable……

But when I think of those people who live with pain worse than mine, I find the courage to endure the trial. I am crying because my feet are hurting while they do not have their feet.

I dream of the day I will be free, the day my courage will set me free. No matter how hard it is, I know I will not suffer forever…..

My mom is already doing enough for me. I cannot rely on her to help me stitch the wound…… I so wish I had an operational dad…… I so wish he were there for me….. What am I saying?! My best and forever father is here. Let me rely on my God.

My freedom is coming soon….

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