Here am I back to the journey….
Day 16- Someone or something you could definitely live without.
I could definitely live without cats.
I like pets in general but not really cats. I just like to see them as kittens and develop some form of affection/attachment for only those with interesting personality. Some of them are really funny and brighten your everyday life but the majority of them are just picky, always acting up, liking comfort and luxury too much, resourceful but lack intelligence(compared to dogs♥). I can easily imagine life without those pets. But, guess what? I have two cats and one kitten at home :s
Day Fifteen – Something or someone you couldn’t live without because you’ve tried living without.
I like to be loved and cherished and spoiled. I like to have the impression that I exist. I want people not only to FEEL affection toward me, I want them to EXPRESS and SHOW me that affection. A “good morning” properly said, a little gift ( I was touched to tears this morning because I received a candy bar and a nice compliment about my smile), a warming hug (nothing can worth that treat!!!), a compliment.
At a certain point in my life, after being disappointed by loved ones, I decided I could and would live without anybody’s affection. How wrong was I! I CANNOT live without affection. No affection, no happiness! No affection, no life!
I am a plant. Love is the water that keeps me alive but the fertilizer which boosts my growth is affection.
Day Fourteen – A hero that has let you down (letter)
I actually have two heroes who have let me down. My letter will be to the two of them.
You were the two men of my life. I loved you and trusted you. I considered you as my friends, my guides, my protectors. You were my heroes. You both took the initiative to come into my life: one of you gave me life, and the other almost brought me back to life when the first one destroyed me in pieces. But, you both lifted me up just to better let me down.
You both played me. You did so wrong to me that I had to fee away from you both. The worst thing about you is that you both think you are so right and powerful and eternal that you cannot do people wrong. All that matters for you is your way to see life, your way to see things, your advantages, yourself. I have given you so many chances to prove me you changed or you WANTED to change but you both messed up. You both really miss the U to be men, real men.
I hate myself for having loved, trusted you and for having taken you as my heroes when in fact you are two cowards. I wish I could drown you in the tears I let out because of you. Love makes people so blind and dumb.
Keep thinking you are the winners and the “right ones” until the day you both will discover you are the losers because one of you has lost one of the most wonderful daughters he could have had and the other one the most loving, faithful and unique wife he could have had.
I am looking forward to this day when the whole world will know you as who you really were: a genitor instead of a father and man-to-be instead of a boyfriend.
Day Thirteen – A band or artist that has gotten you through some ass days (write a letter).
Music is like chamomile to me and this makes it very difficult, if not impossible for me to choose one specific band or artist that got through me. That’s why my letter will be to all musicians while emphasizing on the ones who have brought something special to my heart and life.
You cannot know how much you influence my life. There is no words to describe how interested, passionate about all the melodies and words that you’ve created. At some points in my life, I would make it with nothing else than the ingeniousness of your words and melodies.
Sean Paul, Mc Fornalha, Sergio Mendez songs brighten my calm days. Mariah Carey, R. Kelly, Evanescence, Josh Groban songs make me determined, sweet and calm. Frederic Chopin and Beethoven melodies are good inspirations when I need to be in my peak time. Carimi, Alan Cave and Harmonik songs bring me up to sky. Jennifer Hudson, Beyonce, Nora Roberts, Frank Cinatra when I am in need to talk with myself in front of the mirror.
Music is my anesthesia. It brought me back to life, strengthens me. How many times has a beautiful song moves me to tears. Music is a huge part of my life.
Thank you for taking the initiative to express yourself in a so wonderful and significant way.
A sensitive heart.
Day Twelve- Something you never get compliments on.
In my early childhood, I was diagnosed to have bunions (medical name: hallux valgus). While mine do not develop and are not painful at all, it still cause an aesthetic problem, or let’s say it just appear “anormal”.
If you need to know about bunion, please click on the following link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002211/
Day Ten- Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Should I really rub the salt into the wound?!
Almost seven years ago, I had a couple of friends I was very close to. They were almost like my brother and sister. I would spend a lot of time with him every day talking about anything. The relationship was a real balm to me and I believed it was to them too. We were children of monoparental families, being raised by our mothers. Although we were not in the same school, we used to go to school all four together every morning when I was in rheto and my sister in fourth grade. Christian brothers, close friends! That would be the perfect friendship if…… they didn’t do what they did to me after…
Discovering people you trusted in, you loved and shared great things with are in reality manipulators and insincere people is a very big disappointment.
I neither hate them nor resent them. I just wish I had NEVER known them.
Day Nine- Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
These 30 days of truth are seriously making me browse around my memories, aren’t they? Who? Who? Who?
I was friend with someone for ten years. He was at least fifteen years older than me but he was a true companion. We used to share our opinions about people and life, go in the field service and make bible studies together, eat together, make fun of each other. He also used to go pickup me at school when I was in middle and high school. Adding to all that, he was an elder in my congregation, so he would advice me, mentor me and help me the most he could. He was more or less a father to me. What I liked the most about our friendship was the way he treated me: not like a child but a peer. He would tell me secrets about himself and his life. He really trusted in me and boosted me up. He was a wonderful friend.
Unfortunately, things changed when he moved to the United States. At first, we would communicate through telephone calls and emails, then the contacts started to be less frequent until we drifted away from each other’s life.
Today, we still see each other occasionally when I visit the United States or when he comes to see his wife and child in Haiti. We still keep an amiable relationship but nothing is the same anymore.
I really wish things would go differently but this is life. People get in and get out of your life and that is not something you always can control.