How My Hair Changed My Life…

Almost six years ago, I changed my hair out of boredom- I had experimented many haircuts, colors and looks already- I first got the Surf Up cut, the military cut then cut all of it.  At the time, I was not thinking about returning natural. I was having versatility fun…..

As my hair started to grow again, I started to wonder what I would do with it: cut it again? Keep it “kinky” or texturize it to make a change? I have always liked Tanya Saint Val and Orlane’s curly hair then figured out the texturizer was what I needed to get “the look” I applied the creamy crack and started to make research about “curly hair maintenance”, this lead me to books and videos and articles about natural hair (curly, kinky and coily).

What I discovered about natural hair was GOLD to me! I didnt know my hair liked water, I didnt know I could define its texture, keep it beautiful without chemical transformations. I was in awe!!!!!! I had to experience that myself so I re-big chopped in July 2010 and that was it!

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People started to question my choice to remain natural as soon as my hair grew past three inches. From my household to my workplace, people made fun of me: I was named “Tèt tchong tchong” “Anba bra moun fou” “Sentaniz” “Sè Pwotestan” “tèt boude”. Natural hair was neither appropriate, nor dressy, nor professional, nor elegant.  The more the mockeries and sarcasms about my hair, the more I was determined to both keep my hair natural and prove them wrong.

As my natural hair journey went on, I would spend hours reading blogs and watching vlogs. I’d personally contact some authors/hair gurus/ trichologists to ask questions and explanations on controversial hair matters. Meanwhile, I’d post pictures of my haircare, hairstyles and new findings every single day on my social networks. My hair was grateful to me. It grew beautiful, long and shiny and soon, the people who used to make fun of me started  to compliment me and ask me help them do the same!

By December 2011, I had so many people asking for my help on how to go back natural, take care and style their newly natural hair that I was thinking of creating a Facebook page where I could share the information at once for everybody. What would I call the page? How long would I keep it for? Would it really help my friends and relatives?

On January 1st, 2012, I eventually created Afro Alice : 1) Afro from Africa and Alice from Celtic meaning Noble to honor our noble Heritage from Africa 2) I had an Afro and Alice is my alias. The publications were first made in English only to cater to my close environment needs then were changed to Haitian Creole when the public grew larger six months after. There was more coming…..

Throughout all my personal natural hair journey,  I never had downs or doubts or self confidence issues – I was in an adventure and everyday was different and unique. Yet, to help people, I had to understand them better. Their feelings, realities and views were different than mine. I continued to dig even deeper in my research and really connected to my public to better tailor my writing to their needs. My followers were like babies of mine depending on my expertise, example and guidance to make it through this new and fearful journey they were starting. I never knew hair was related to so many aspects of our lives: our health, our finance, our beauty, our culture! Afro Alice was becoming more than a “just for fun” initiative. …..

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I have always been good at styling hair and I have always been good at empowering people. I loved hair and I loved people.  Afro Alice was my opportunity to make a difference in my own humble ways.  Along with the invaluable and continuing help of friends, advisors and supporters, Afro Alice became formally the Premier natural hair center in Haiti but my work was more virtual and I needed to connect more with the people.

In 2015, after two years of styling and caring for people’s hair at my place, I decided to open a salon for people with natural hair to better educate them and assist them.  I also organized gatherings, tours, workshops, forums and groups to empower more people and it worked well.  I organized and participated in exchange programs to foster an environment of sisterhood and collaboration for the community. People from around the globe contact us to express their appreciation and their gratefulness. The natural hair movement has never reached such a momentum before and I am proud of my contribution to that.

Today, four years later, Afro Alice helps and empowers people through the social media, the educational tours and events, the beauty salon and the blog. Looking back, Afro Alice is worth my sleepless nights, my tears of frustration and all I went through to help my people. Some days, I even felt like giving it all up! But, hey! Here I am! Putting my little bricks to build the Castle.

Can you imagine how joy fills my heart when the eyes of a little girl brighten after I boosted her self esteem! Can you imagine how fulfilled I feel when I realize how my words changed another woman’s life!  My heart bumps when I empower my people!

The respect, the appreciation and the love I get from my people, I earned it with my sweat, my tears and my vision of altruism and love. With Afro Alice, I made connections, discovered lands, improved myself and accomplished things I didnt know I could. I still have a long way to go but I am happy with where I am now with Afro Alice.

I wish you could see my tears and smile of accomplishment and fulfillment as I am concluding.

I never thought my own hair would change my life in such an awesome way.

Happy Anniversary to Afro Alice!!!

 

My Philosophy At This Point

As I do it every year since the past years: 23TH Spring, 24TH Spring25TH Spring26TH Spring,  I blog at each new spring.  As I was very busy during the past days, I missed it four days ago.  But, as they say, later is better than never.

How do I start? …  I have been thinking about what my post would be this year since the first day of November, yet, here am I, sitting in front of my screen, hesitant and lost in my thoughts…..

Three minutes later….

Lessons from the past year – I have learned a lot about human nature and people management.

Life with people is beautiful and wouldn’t be as interesting as it is without them but caution and diplomacy should be used when dealing with them.   I am almost giving up my Spontaneous Self to be more the Cautious and Observing Me.  I have learned to decipher wolves hidden behind a sheep mask and I have learned to let go of toxic habits.  I have learned to shut up although I am right, I have learned to apologize although I am right….. I fought for my beliefs and welcomed ennemies I gained because of my principles, my standards, my vision and my dream.  The past year was about my Human Awareness & Management in Life classs.  I struggled but passed the class!

I have also learned about leaving my comfort zone, challenging my fears and working towards my dreams.  It takes guts, resilience and boldness to live your dream.  I now understand why almost everybody has a dream but very few people live their dreams and I am happy, satisfied and proud of myself because I am daring! I am living! I have a vision, I have a dream and everyday of my life, I am working to fulfill it 🙂 Getting married and launching a business were two of my biggest fears but I overcame them both: Here am I happily married since three months and expanding my natural hair center :).

My third lesson is about freedom.  Everybody is RELATIVELY free.  I have longly read about freedom and how free some people are and how freedom is a necessity. I have observed that people are only partially/relatively/questionably free.  No matter how much people claim they are free, they are still enslaved to something, even a little thing: slaves of a habit, slaves of a situation, slaves of their beliefs, slaves of their mind, slaves of society, slaves of Facebook, LOL.  Freedom is relative and once I have realized that, I have chosen what I would be free of and what I would be enslaved to.  Happier and easier life!

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New Spring, New Philosophy– At this point in my life, I have realized how a lot of things are vain and I can concur with King Solomon as stated in Ecclesiastes 1: 2 “The greatest futility! Everything is futile!”.  That’s why I have decided to concentrate on the most vital things and based on my current situation, my health and my peace are the most important things to me

Health: Mental health. Spiritual Health.  Body Health.  IAmness Health.  Less 12-16 hours working in a block, less sleepless nights, less Facebook, less stress, less platonic and toxic friendship, less Ragaman (taurine and gingseng drink made in Haiti) drinking, less emotional eating, less shopping therapy.  More quality time with true friends and family, more reading and writing, more self care, more praying, more rest, more self-building initiative.  I have decided to stop doing weight loss journeys- more about the appearance than the real deal- from now on, I am on a health reclaiming journey.

Peace: Peace with myself, peace with others.

Reviewing and challenging my feelings, my beliefs, myself to build a stronger Me with grounds and anchor.

I have noticed how people like others to nurture their delusion instead of telling them what the reality is and I am NOT getting there! In trying to always be transparent and truthful, I have hurt myself several times and I am determined to be, stay and remain outspoken but ONLY with selected people.

I am grateful for each new day as it is an opportunity for me to do better.  Just like a butterfly or some wine, with age, I shall become better until I reach the best version of myself.

10 Lessons I Have Learned in 2013

The lessons I have learned throughout these 365 days:

Lesson #1 – Everything is ephemeral.  When happiness is there, I cherish it because I know I could lose it at any time.  When sadness strikes, I endure it with courage because I know it will be over.

Lesson # 2- I should always take into consideration my intuition.  I have learned it the hard way.  I have  a way to perceive things I can’t explain logically but will prove to be right sooner or later.

Lesson # 3- I have to be less naive.  I am an idealistic, spontaneous and friendly person. Therefore, I tend to be naive, trusting people I shall not trust, befriending people I should not have or believing everything is fine or everyone is good.  Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  I have learned that through tears and pain.  People are more HUMAN than HERO.

Lesson # 4- Matthew 6:34 Each day has enough trouble of its own.  I tend to overworry about things and people.  Keeping it the Hakkunah matata way can help a great deal.  Less hassles, less stress and more joy in the present.  It’s so difficult for me to let go…

Lesson # 5- More initiative = more responsibilities = more rewards.  This, I have learned with my experience at Afro Alice, my natural hair page

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Lesson # 6-  In friendship, men stay and remain the best choices.  They are more faithful, less trivial, less dramatic, more upbuilding.  I do have girl friends (because they are the exception to the rule).  You never know how bad a girl friend can be until you have an argument with her or until you get betrayed. #realtalk

Lesson # 7- Trial is not an excuse to become bitter, you can become better too.  In the past, I used to explain some people behavioral troubles or bitterness in what they’ve endured throughout their lives.  I was wrong.  My boss, my mom and myself are exemples of people who endured much and became better.

Lesson # 8- There’s more joy in giving than in receiving.  This is a recurring lesson each year!  The feeling of helping or pleasing someone else, the joy of putting a smile on someone’s face.  Giving is priceless.

Lesson # 9- Jehovah, the Almigthy God, is ALWAYS right.  You may not understand one principle stated in the Bible now, but at the end, you will experience and see that Jehovah is always right.  #myexperiencewithHim.

Lesson # 10- Whatever you can put a price on is valuable but on a little extent.  The free things, the things you can’t appraise, the priceless things are the most valuable and important ones.  #love #oxygen #trust #friendship #God #mother #pet

I grew older, wiser and more than ever, ready to go on and on…

 

From the Depths of My Heart to You…

Thank you for the best gift I received this year.
Thank you for the best gift of love I have ever experimented.
Thank you for bringing bright and shining light to my deep darkness
Thank you for making me believe in love and life and happiness
It’s been almost five months and I am ready for forever
Never  has caramel been so rich and colorful to me
Never has painite been such a dazzling stone to me
Never has love tasted so amazing and wonderful to me
Never have I been so happy, fulfilled, complete in my life
YOU make a HUGE difference in MY life
Tomorrow makes sense to me because of YOU
Thank you for all those little yet priceless things (tears)

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You’ve rescued me on the edge of the abyss

You turned my lifeless lyre into a vivid and rhythmic melody

You removed me from my ashes and gave me a throne

You helped me grow out my down when I was plucked

I am thankful for you, such a wunderkind

I am grateful for YOU, Nehito

Thank you and I love you are too weak to convey such deep and strong feelings

But, unfortunately, they are all I have (tears)

I love you and I thank you

 

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Thank you Jehovah. 

Thank you for this year, thank you for this new start.

Thank you for having wiped my tears and  used precious people to help me go through.  Thank you for having outstandingly provided for my needs.  I grew more mature, stronger, I am born again, thanks to you. Thank you for having helped me to remain faithful and go further. 

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Thank you for my biggest gift of this year, unexpected yet a real treasure, a true blessing: a mirror, a twin, a happiness, a joy!

  Thank you for life! Thank you for the gift of friendship!  Thank you for the gift of love!  Thank you for all!  Here am I equipped with all I need and even wish to go on until the end.

There is nothing I can offer you that could be even to all you’ve given me.  Yet, little is better than nothing.  I am offering you the best of myself! You are truly my Father, my Friend and my God!

From The Depths of The Abyss

Nightmares…cold sweat…heartbeats’ acceleration…. I am living my pains through my sleep. 

My subconscious intensifies my reality and my sleep becomes unbearable.

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I wake up shaken and oh so shocked.  Confusion strikes and I blame myself for not yet being over that phase. 

I am in dire need of some comfort, just a hug- one hug could reassure me but I look around and find nobody- bitter reminder that I am alone.  ALONE!

I seek solace in my pillows as if their warmth could replace any human consolation. Delusion! I fall apart crying then I try to fight the rebel tears pouring out….

Hopeless, I stand up, face my reality and go on…in pieces but alive…

I Feel…

I feel…

Unsheltered– as if I was standing in the rain, having to deal with the cold, the loneliness, the storm with no handy shelter where I can protect myself. Feeling lost, left alone and hopeless. Tears of panic strike and I let go of myself…

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Emprisoned in a bottle–  as If I was a mouse stuck into a bottle, staring at the way out but not able to reach it no matter how hard it tries.  Seeing one hundred solutions to my problems, yet unable to make it through them successfully.  Feeling useless, limited and worthless. After too many failed tries, I resign myself to such a fate…

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Odd– as if I was a Chicklets tablet in the midst of teeth.  Same shape, same color yet totally different.  I am Myself and the world surrounding me is Itself and we have no jonction, leaving me with the feeling of being inconvenient, set at the wrong place, evolving in the improper area.  I cannot fulfill myself and adhere to their world at the same time.  Yet, I need to achieve the two of them to be happy…

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I am a failure– No matter what I do or say or strive for, the bottom line is always the fact that I LOOK like a success but I AM a failure.  I feel like an incomplete assignment, a could-be something, a waste………

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Screw me!!!