When My Feelings Turned Into Extra Calories…

We are in the fifth month of this year and I have already gained and lost and gained and lost again around 05-20 pounds. I started the year with Size 12-14, I got to 16-18, went 14-16, went up to 18 then got back to 16.  I am not a typical yo-yo dieter. I am an emotional eater and it is sabotaging my weight loss plan.


Eating has  always been my primary coping emotional mechanism but years ago, I would express  my pain, frustration, disappointment, fear through tears.  However, nowadays, my feelings turned into calories.     Whenever I am upset, angry, stressed, hurt or afraid, I eat.  That chocolate melting on my tongue and the liquid making his way through my stomach; that cheesy and meaty food making me feel oh so better- so soothing…so relieving….FOR THE TIME BEING!  Afterward, I am left with double guilt and shame: the guilt of having unhealthily addressed my problems and the guilt of having consumed unnecessary calories that will eventually screw up my weight; the shame of having failed to control my body.


What’s bad about my emotional hunger also is that it makes me crave fatty foods and sugary snacks that provide an immediate rush- chocolate, pizza, steak and cheese sandwich, velvet cake, etc…

Sometimes, I manage not to eat to compensate my emotional needs and it works just fine-getting better at it actually.  However, on days like today, all I can afford is being an emotional eater: turning my feelings into calories.

Confessions of an emotional eater.


Back to My Weight Loss Journey – Rising from My Ashes

I succeeded…. I failed… I succeeded…. I failed…. I succeeded then I failed again…..but here I am, ready again to try and to succeed with no following failure.  Hard reality but known reality- this is a lifetime battle: my fight to stay fit and lose the extra pounds…

September 2013

September 2013

After having weighed myself last week and noticed that I almost went back to my original 237 lbs (I am actually 235 lbs 😥 – From 185 lbs to 235 lbs in few months 😦 #shameonme), went up from size 12-14 to a 16-18, I decided it was time for me to get back to my weight loss journey.  Unlike several people who can eat whatever they want with minimal to no change to their weight, I have a sensitive metabolism: I lose and I gain easily. I have to permanently watch my diet.  Then, here am I, back to weight loss business.

The goal:  I want to lose at least 60 pounds by mid-July 2014! 

The barriers: I am an emotional eater. I lose and I gain easily. I have no journey pals.  I need to develop a backup plan to prevent the issues they will bring up….

The plan:  For the moment, I am more focused on my diet.  Oatmeal, wheat, veggies, fruits and water are my best friends again.  I will also drink more tea and remove sugar or processed juice from my daily intakes. 

 As for the exercise, I will keep it to the 30-day Shred by Michael Jillian for this trimester – 5 times per day. 

First round starts today to finish by October 31st- Let’s see how much I will lose.  Later, I will take my measurements for reference.

   Wish me success, people.

My June Weight Loss Plan

I have been hibernating for quite a while but I am back to business with great news. I am starting with a 30-day weight loss plan 🙂

I went on vacation for one week and ate with minor consideration for my calorie intake. That’s why, i decided to go on a 30-day weight loss journey. My aim is to lose four pounds and to maintain my size 12-14 for the moment.

I am doing it because my health will benefit from it. Plus, I feel more comfortable and confident when I keep my extra pounds off. Last, I want to restart my life and find back myself. Disciplining and treating my body is a good way for me to stand up and rise again.

No fade diets, no miracle pills. My diet is pretty much simple. More water, fruits and veggies intake, less rice, no juice, minimum chocolate intake, welcoming oatmeal, wheat, tilapia as my best friends again. My exercise plan is also basic: my 30 day shred dvd exercises with Michael Jilian, zumba and aerobic related dance session every other week.

Me today:


Weight Loss Journey Update- I Am Doing Just Great

Yaaaay! I get good news!   I finally weighed myself yesterday (last time was January 25- getting on the scale is so discouraging that I do rarely) and what I saw made my day.  I could feel I lost pound as my clothes were not fitting and people were noticing my weight loss but I had a revelation yesterday when I got on the scale:  190 lbs!  Yes! From 234 to 1-9-0 POUNDS!  Hourraaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!  I am smiling, I am laughing, I am blushing, I am aawww-ing!!!!! Oh yeeeeeeees!!!!

From December 27, 2011 to April 1st, 2012- 3 months and 5 days- Down to size 14, 44 lbs lighter and loving it.  Reward for my continuous researches on proper fitness and nutrition, my waking up early to go jogging, my working hard to acquire and MAINTAIN healthy fitness and nutrition.  It is never easy!  Adapting to changes, getting disciplined, eating healthy but it is oh-so rewarding. I am chilllinnnnng but….

I just won a BATTLE, I didn’t win the WAR yet.  I have a very reactive metabolism and I lose pounds as easily as I gain them.  I have to keep up the good work.  I can do this!!!!! Discipline, motivation and perseverance! That’s all it takes to achieve goals 🙂

I am more and more motivated to continue with  my weight loss journey.

When Emotional Eating And Need Of Versatility Can Mess Up Your Weight Loss Journey…

I am on high stress and have a bunch of worries  these days.  As an emotional eater, one of my best comforting options has always been to eat.  Eating makes me forget, makes me feel good and gives me the strength to get back on the battlefield.  But, now that I am on my weight loss journey, I can’t rely on food to boost up my mood.  But the temptation to lean on food is so big.  My weight loss journey is threatened.

Yesterday, I didn’t let go.  Instead of let myself eat for emotional comfort, I remove my 9-day sew-in weave and did my hair (I know this is crazy but it truly helped me-not only did it prevent me from eating but also I felt better after doing something I love: pampering my hair).

Today, I am still fighting the temptation but I am not very sure I will make it….. Guilty face… Ashamed face….. Embarrassed face….. Okay! I know I should fight until the end.  I don’t want to mess up my journey…..  I took a long moment to talk to Jehovah this morning, I ask him to help me have a good day and so far, it is all working.  Prayer is another way for me to get over my burdens.  Such a relief!

My second temptation is to fad-diet.  I know they’re unhealthy and generally don’t help in the long run but I want to do one fad- diet.  So this is the compromise: What I want (a fad-diet: the 3 day diet or the grapefruit diet), then I get back to my originally healthy step-by-step diet.  I am getting bored with my wise diet.  I need to insert some crazy input to enliven it.  And that crazy input is going to be a fad-diet.  Yes, I will fad-diet the coming month. #Stubborn Myself

As I am writing about my fad-diet idea(a little adventure to remove me from the everyday wisdom),my mood is improving.  Heheheee, I even have a smile on my face (the first real one since the beginning of this week). 

The bottom line is I am not going to let myself fall in emotional-eating but I will of course follow a little fad-diet plan.  😀  (I am feeling guilty but I know –I promise to myself to get back on the healthy step-by-step weight loss journey-I will make it).

I am already feeling better.  Writing makes wonders (better than eating for comfort actually, lol).

Weight Loss Journey- Two Of My Best Friends In Nutrition

I have two new best friends since I re-started my Weight Loss Journey in December 2011: Oat and Popcorn.

Oat:  I never really like oatmeal before but I would at least eat oat cookies.  Now that I am trying to have a balanced and healthy life, I included it in my nutrition plan. I am getting to like it.  It’s ideal for breakfast and one of the best weight loss friends you can have. Why?

This is what www.dentalplans.com says about it:

“Oatmeal’s Magical Benefits include:

It Lowers cholesterol: Oatmeal contains soluble fiber which binds to bile (bile helps us to absorb fat and cholesterol from our diet). Less bile, less fat and cholesterol absorbed! Then the liver makes bile from our stored cholesterol to compensate for the lowered absorbed amount, lowering our cholesterol levels further. Lower levels of total cholesterol are associated with lower rates of heart disease. Of course if we eat too much fat, let’s say on one of those high protein diets, eating our magical food won’t make magic.

Cancer Fighting Properties: Grains contain a phytochemical called “phytic acid”. This phyto binds to certain minerals thought to cause free radical production especially in our colon and it eliminates them instead.

Weight Control: Low in fat, and a “stick to your ribs food”, oatmeal, a complex carbohydrate has a low glycemic index.This means it is turned into a simple sugar very slowly. What does this do? It raises our blood sugar slowly by staying in the stomach longer, which decreases our hunger and cravings created by those other simple carbohydrate foods (we all know which foods I’m referring to). End result: more sustained energy, and less junk food cravings. Don’t forget that our brain gets fed from this complex carb food too! Oatmeal is also a great carbohydrate for diabetics.

Nutrient Density: The nutrients in fortified oatmeal include all the B vitamins including the heart healthy Folate which lowers homocysteine levels (another heart disease risk factor), and it also includes iron, calcium, Vitamin A, protein and more. All this plus fiber, virtually no fat, low sodium and no cholesterol. At about 140 calories per cup, I consider this an all around good deal. Eat oat bran oatmeal and we’ve got even more fiber.

Oatmeal the magical healthy food can also be a versatile food (yes, I said versatile). We can add lots of different toppings such as fruit, dried fruit, applesauce, yogurt, maple syrup and we can even top it with other cereals such as low fat granola. How about we make our own low fat granola using oats! Toast uncooked oats in an oven, add some bran cereal, chopped nuts, dried fruits and voila, we’ve made our own. We can even make our own muesli cereal, oatmeal pancakes (look for this recipe on my site soon), and then there are muffin and cookie recipes available everywhere.

From my personal experience: It boosts my energy, it is great carbohydrate and it is high in fiber.  I feel good after eating oatmeal for breakfast and when I eat it, I have no need to snack during the day. Instead of  having my regular three meals and two snacks, oatmeal helps me to have three meals and one snack.  Less food, more health, less calories.  High Five for Oat.

Popcorn:  Popcorn has never been one of my favorite snacks because I always found it to be salty and greasy and I hated this particular taste (In my country, they use air popcorns more often and add a lot of salt to it).  As I got back to my weight loss journey, I read some articles praising its snacking benefits and listed it as one of my snacks. I didn’t regret it.  I use Act II 94% Fat free Butter microwave popcorn.  Just 15 calories for one cup popped, no trans fat, just 1% of sodium, 3% of dietary fiber. I like it because it is high in fiber and low in calories.



“Popcorn is a great snack because you get a lot of volume and fiber (which makes you feel full), and it’s a whole grain, so it’s healthier than a snack like pretzels,” says Gidus. What’s more, the low-fat microwave kind is easy to prepare and low in calories. These days you can buy single-serve popcorn, which means you can eat a whole bag without feeling guilty!

Recommended serving size: 1 single-serve package, low-fat microwave popcorn
Calories: 100

Thumbs up to Oat and Popcorn!

New Knowledges And Reminders About Nutrition- From My Today Nutrition Session

“Love to eat. Hate to exercise” my today nutrition session was about the obesity trends in the U.S. for the past twenty years, nutrition, environmental control and physical activity.

What I have noted for future personal application (use):

 A- I need to eat from 2.5 to 6.5 fruits and veggies per day.  I studied that back in high school and during my Nutrition & Fitness classes when I was in RI but I wasn’t really practicing that.  Back on track.

B- I need to limit my consumption of sodium, energy drinks, saturated, trans fat and cholesterol.  I will need to focus more on the product label when I am shopping for grocery.  For the cholesterol part, it is going to be hard.  While I am not a fan of organ meats, I love eggs (white part plus yolk). Very often, I eat more than the normal weekly portion! Yummy but not so healthy.

C- My daily portion of food should equally have fruits, veggies , grains and proteins.  My master problem is the grains! Put aside pastas and popcorn (fat and butter free of course), I am not a real fan of  grains.  I do not like bulgar, oatmeal, brown rice! Ewww but  I need to consume like 3 1-oz serving of it per day!  Real trial!

My afterward resolutions:

A- Increase my daily food intake.  I have a wide variety of fruits here in Haiti.  This will not be very hard 🙂

B- Start to be active.  So far, I used to focus more on the EAT LESS part of dieting than on the EXERCISE MORE. 

#1- I will try to exercise 30 minutes every day (zumba, cardio, aerobics, social dancing, walking).  Grrrr….I am going to miss my laziness.

#2- Taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work. 

C- Tracking my calories.  Record every little thing I put on my mouth.  I did for today and I have extra calories I can add 😀

I found a weight loss fight buddy.  I sincerely hope this will help me remain motivated.

Some useful websites for more information about healthy nutrition and fitness: